Families Under Pressure

‘Families Under Pressure’ is a series of 12 videos featuring parenting tips and guidance on how to respond when children are misbehaving, and how to build a better rapport with your child. The series was created by King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience, South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust, and Maudsley Charity.

Watch the animations below and make sure to visit www.familiesunderpressure.org for more tips and resources.

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Tip 1: Keeping positive and motivated

Being a parent is a special and important role. But sometimes it can feel like a thankless task. As a person and a parent, you are special and important, and you need to look after yourself.

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Tip 2: Making sure everyone knows what’s expected of them

Clear house rules are an essential starting point for managing children’s challenging behaviour. These rules are important during the current times when families are under pressure because they set out clear boundaries about what you want to encourage and discourage your child to do.

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Tip 3: Building your child’s trust and self confidence

In times of uncertainty, children may start to doubt themselves and feel insecure in their relationships. Children who feel positive about themselves and confident in their place within the family are less likely to misbehave There are lots of reasons why children misbehave and become disruptive and disobedient.

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Tip 4: Getting your child to follow instructions

Want children to follow instructions?  Make sure that they are listening to you and that they understand what you are saying.

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Tip 5: Promoting good behaviour

Being smart about how you use rewards can really encourage children to behave better and help them to follow agreed house rules.

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Tip 6: How to limit conflict

Parents are only human! They over-react when their children misbehave. This is likely to increase conflict and make it harder for their children to follow the family rules.

Promote good behaviour by combining a calm authority with kindness and respect.

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Tip 7: Keeping calm when your kids act up

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Tip 8: Using sanctions carefully

Use sanctions as a last resort to encourage children to follow rules. Proper use of rewards can encourage children to follow agreed house rules.

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Tip 9: How to communicate better with your child

Active listening: It is helpful to explain to your children that it is normal to worry when facing challenges and uncertainty. You can listen to your children’s worries and encourage them to ask questions, check that you have understood them, and try to answer questions with factual information/examples. Of course, you may not have all the answers. It is helpful to acknowledge when you do not know the answer, then try to find some answers together, or tell them what is being done by others to find the answer.

Address misinformation: It’s a good idea to limit children’s exposure to news and social media as they might unnecessarily increase anxiety. You can watch the news and social media together, so that you can help them interpret the news with terms they understand, correct misinformation, and discuss unhelpful behaviours they might see in others.

Modelling: Try to discuss with your children when you are calm, to model the behaviour you’d like them to have. Maintaining a predictable routine also helps them feel safe.

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Tip 10: Helping your child cope with anxiety

Reduce unhelpful thoughts: To reduce worries, you can encourage your children to talk about their thoughts to you, to write them down, and then to put the list away. Try to limit discussions about worries at a special “worry time” once a day. It is helpful to explain to them that instead of worrying about things they cannot change (the “what if…?” or “why…?” questions) they can use problem-solving to identify actions they can take to get what they want (the “what can I do to…?” question). For example, instead of asking “Why is my school still closed, what if it stays shut?”, suggest that they can ask “What can I do to keep in touch with my school-mates, how can I keep up with my school work?”.

Reduce unhelpful behaviours: Only give reassurance a set number of times daily because those interactions will only keep the worry going. If needed, you can also offer little rewards for engaging in just the necessary amount of protective behaviours (e.g., hand-washing) and time away from you (if they are clingy).

Read and download our fact sheets, watch more videos or sign up for our mailing list and free interactive guide.

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Further information:

This series was created as a response to the Coronavirus pandemic, as a way to help parents struggling to maintain a positive family dynamic. Keeping a positive routine and communicating was especially difficult during the lockdown due to the uncertainty of the circumstances. These videos provide families with practical tips to help build a healthy and open atmosphere in the home.

The tips are based on decades of research from UK’s leading professionals and reflect the real-life experiences of families and parents. The animations feature the recognisable voices of a host of well-known parents including Olivia Colman, Rob Brydon, Holly Willoughby, Romesh Ranganathan and Sandi Toksvig, among others.